Irony of the vermilion

During my stay in Chennai, I  had a maid for a short period of time for cleaning the house and utensils. She used to come pretty well dressed up and looked really tidy. She had 3 kids, her husband worked in a shoe store and they stayed in  a  locality near my house. Since she could speak Hindi so we used to often have chats while she finished her work. She sounded quite happy and contented with her life and her family.

It had been 4 months of her duty at my home, when one morning she came for work with tears in her eyes and kind of shattered state. I enquired the reason for it and she broke out saying her husband had beaten her badly over some argument between them. Well, she dint wish to disclose the story behind the argument and I also dint force her. Whatever be the reason, but who gives a man the right to beat up his wife? Does he consider it his right being a husband? I asked her if it was the first time this had happened and she meekly replied that it had happened 3-4 times earlier as well. The couple often had fights amongst them. Her husband was not jobless, did not drink or have any other bad vices. But he always expected her to act as per his will and would loose his temper easily if she dint oblige and ended up showing his manliness in the manner he had done that day. Her in-laws were not supportive, as expected. I asked her if she ever revolted to all this beating business? She said that she has always raised her voice against it, but since she has married this man so she has to carry on the relationship her whole life. Their society does not allow separation between a husband and wife and she will have to answer everyone her whole life if she walks out from his house. Moreover, for her kids future she has to carry on the burden of this marriage. I was really saddened at her state but could not do anything at that moment to lessen her pain other than giving her few comforting and encouraging words. Never had I earlier felt that she was going through all trauma considering how happy she used to appear all this time. Well, women are expert at putting up false image, or maybe her smiles were to hide her agony from the outside world.

After she was done with her work she left. Then within a minute, she rang the doorbell again. I asked her if she forgot something or wanted to talk about something. She said that she had taken head bath that day and since she left house in a hurry due to the fight, so she forgot to apply the vermilion on her head. She wanted to borrow my red lipstick which she could use it as vermilion. I asked the significance of applying it when her marriage itself was in jeopardy. She said its her marriage symbol and she cannot part with it irrespective of how her husband treats her. I have never been able to understand these sentiments that surround a woman. The lady’s life was miserable, she had no love or feelings for her husband, had no support of her in-laws and yet was so sentimental about the vermilion. It was her marriage symbol after all!!

The Mess

His cupboard is a mess
His desktop is a mess
His motives I can't guess
His life is a mess

He preaches whole day
With nothing to achieve
His words I can't comprehend
His thoughts are a mess

He is a complicated man
With unrealistic taste 
His aims I can't understand
His future is a mess!

Freedom to me is.....

to live and let live.

to love all and be loved by all.

to feel safe and secure in my country.

the right to voice my opinion and be heard.

liberation from superstitions.

to make my own decisions.

no discrimination based on caste and sex.
 
education and food for all.

no child labour.

to be myself.

आ इस रेत पे तेरा नाम लिख दूं......

जो लहरें बहा ले गयी अपने साथ
उन पदचिन्ह के फिर निशान कर दूं
आ इस रेत पे तेरा नाम लिख दूं

बीते वक़्त ने जिन्हें गुमनाम कर दिया
उन भूले लम्हों को फिर यादगार कर दूं
आ इस रेत पे तेरा नाम लिख दूं

जो सुर्ख हवा ने खुद में समेट लिया
उन दिलों की दास्तान को फिर आवाज़ दे दूं
आ इस रेत पे तेरा नाम लिख दूं .......

Photo courtesy: Tania Khan

Satyamev Jayate

I love this song :)

तेरा रंग ऐसा चढ़ गया कोई और रंग न चढ़ सके

तेरा नाम सीने पे लिखा हर कोई आ के पढ़ सके

है जूनून है जूनून है तेरे इश्क का ये जूनून है

रग रग में इश्क तेरा दौड़ता ये बावरा सा खून है

तुने ही सिखाया सच्चाइयों का मतलब

तेरे पास आ के जाना मैंने ज़िन्दगी का मकसद

सत्यमेव सत्यमेव सत्यमेव जयते

सच्चा है प्यार तेरा सत्यमेव जयते!

The happening year

Another 15 days to cherish what remains of 2011. I feel this year passed off just too soon. It has been a happening one for sure, for me and my family.

The year did not start in a happy note though. Early January I lost my nani, and along with her went away 5 yrs of my childhood which I had lived with her being pampered to the core. She was quite old and not doing well since a long time. But whatever be the reason, our attachment and sentiments for our grandparents never die and they are always missed when they are not amongst us. To accept that she is no more with us(physically i mean) took quite some time.

Nani had always wanted to see me getting married; she had so many plans for my wedding. Sadly, she was not there to witness this occasion, but I know her blessings are always with me. When my wedding took place in May this year, it was a big family and extended family get-together. Joyous and memorable as I can call it, we all enjoyed the whole episode to the core.

Post wedding I shifted to Bangalore, yet another happening thing for me. 7 years spent in Chennai had made the place my second home. Loving my new abode in Bangalore and enjoying everything that this metro has in store for its residents.

This year also marks the completion of my youngest brother's P.Hd. course. He got his dream job thus making my parent's (another) dream come true. Extremely elated as they are, I have just one thing to say - **Touchwood**

Our visit to home next week marks the last of the celebrations for this year. Just two more days and our vacation starts....hurrraay!

Adieu 2011 and a very warm welcome to 2012!!

Festive October

With two big Hindu festivals falling in the same month, October has been cherished in all Indian homes. It was a month accompanied with more sweets, more celebrations, more holidays and more shopping. And now that it has come to an end, all that lingers are the wonderful memories of the festive season.

For the first time we celebrated Dussehra in the most traditional form with the worship of Goddess Durga and recitation of "Durga Saptashati" for 9 days. We also went to Mysore to witness the most famous Mysore Dussehra on dashmi. The 3.5 hrs colorful and grandeur procession from the Mysore Palace is the best I have seen till date. They had presented models with specialities of each district of Karnataka. Though it was extremely crowded but it was worth the visit. During my childhood days we used to watch "Raam Leela" and many other Dussehra jhaaki in my grandparent's place. The Palace procession triggered a sense of nostaliga down the memory lane.

The first Diwali after wedding is always special. While new clothes and sweets are implicit, with my brother visiting us for this occasion, it was even more fun. The Diwali celebrations in Bangalore simply amazed me. The crackers continued to burst from morning till late night for almost 3 days. While everyone has their own way of celebrating but I still feel that people should refrain from bursting such loud sound atom bombs and be a little more considerate to the environment and the human beings. My husband had got all the lighting crackers like flower pots, chakri, etc and we were contented and happy with our little collection.

With the year coming to an end, looking forward to the New Year celebrations at home. For those in the US, they still have Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas to celebrate. Whatever be the festivals, they just unleash the child within us and we all get together to enjoy the celebrations. Cheers to the festive season!!