Friday, March 7, 2014

Irony of the vermilion

During my stay in Chennai, I  had a maid for a short period of time for cleaning the house and utensils. She used to come pretty well dressed up and looked really tidy. She had 3 kids, her husband worked in a shoe store and they stayed in  a  locality near my house. Since she could speak Hindi so we used to often have chats while she finished her work. She sounded quite happy and contented with her life and her family.

It had been 4 months of her duty at my home, when one morning she came for work with tears in her eyes and kind of shattered state. I enquired the reason for it and she broke out saying her husband had beaten her badly over some argument between them. Well, she dint wish to disclose the story behind the argument and I also dint force her. Whatever be the reason, but who gives a man the right to beat up his wife? Does he consider it his right being a husband? I asked her if it was the first time this had happened and she meekly replied that it had happened 3-4 times earlier as well. The couple often had fights amongst them. Her husband was not jobless, did not drink or have any other bad vices. But he always expected her to act as per his will and would loose his temper easily if she dint oblige and ended up showing his manliness in the manner he had done that day. Her in-laws were not supportive, as expected. I asked her if she ever revolted to all this beating business? She said that she has always raised her voice against it, but since she has married this man so she has to carry on the relationship her whole life. Their society does not allow separation between a husband and wife and she will have to answer everyone her whole life if she walks out from his house. Moreover, for her kids future she has to carry on the burden of this marriage. I was really saddened at her state but could not do anything at that moment to lessen her pain other than giving her few comforting and encouraging words. Never had I earlier felt that she was going through all trauma considering how happy she used to appear all this time. Well, women are expert at putting up false image, or maybe her smiles were to hide her agony from the outside world.

After she was done with her work she left. Then within a minute, she rang the doorbell again. I asked her if she forgot something or wanted to talk about something. She said that she had taken head bath that day and since she left house in a hurry due to the fight, so she forgot to apply the vermilion on her head. She wanted to borrow my red lipstick which she could use it as vermilion. I asked the significance of applying it when her marriage itself was in jeopardy. She said its her marriage symbol and she cannot part with it irrespective of how her husband treats her. I have never been able to understand these sentiments that surround a woman. The lady’s life was miserable, she had no love or feelings for her husband, had no support of her in-laws and yet was so sentimental about the vermilion. It was her marriage symbol after all!!

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